Tipping can be an absolute headache.

Tipping can be an absolute headache. 

When I was very young in England in the 1940’s one discreetly left a threepenny bit beneath the saucer when one was in a café.

I remember going to a cinema in France in the 1950’s and having been shown my seat by an usherette settled in to watch the film. A few minutes later I noticed this usherette still standing by me jingling coins in her purse. It took another 2 or 3 minutes before it occurred to me she was waiting for a tip.

Now, with age and experience I rarely tip anyone. It’s mostly included in the bill so I see no need to add anything more. Once after giving a lecture to a group of Americans a couple left me ten franc tips. I had to politely explain that I didn’t accept tips.

There are exceptions. The young lady who cuts my hair gets one, but if ever she is absent and the owner does the job he doesn’t get one. Never tip bosses.

Frankly if anyone insists on a tip he doesn’t merit one.

Visit France - 10 Things That Will SHOCK You About France

I have always been surprised about how Americans are so easily shocked. I mean the English do sometimes find things shocking but hopefully not too often.

I have come to the conclusion that what they really mean is surprised

Miss Universe 2016/2017 - Miss France

The French are now heading to their destiny.

Well the horses are now lined up for the final furlong. How many of my readers know what a furlong is in this metric age? The length of ten cricket pitches.

1. On the extreme left the communists, Trotskyites, workers struggle etc. (not counting a few independent candidates ) under Melanchon.

 2. The official Socialist party candidate, Hamon, hard left of the party, O brave new world.

3. Macron, a sort of New Age independent leftish economic liberal Joker,

4. The Conservative, Catholic, upright, Mr Clean, Fillon,

5. On the extreme right, Le Pen, who is or is not a fascist, depending on how far left of her one is.

To understand French politics one must remember what has happened since the French revolution in 1789.

The French have had 5 republics, 2 monarchies, 2 empires and various minor forms of government including for example that of Pétain in the 2^nd World War.

The United States during the same time frame (from 1776/83) are still on their 1^st republic.

 Of course since the last upheaval in 1968 there has been nothing like a revolution although God only knows what would happen if Le Pen was victorious. God, as every Englishman knows is an Englishman, is otherwise engaged wooing a certain Trump,  so will probably not intervene. Perhaps he might be better off wooing Miss Universe

Politicians come and go but the French still eat their cheese.

De Gaulle said,

“How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?”

 Well the situation is much worse than that. The real number is more like 400 kinds.In fact the French have the highest world consumption of cheese; about 25.9 kilos (57 pounds) a year. That’s over a pound a week.

The best are made by hand or artisanal as opposed to manufactured. Not surprising really. Some of the manufactured cheeses appear more like rubber than cheese.

Aging cheese is an art, often done in very old cellars. There is a problem of course in storing these cheeses at home because modern apartments are not equipped for it and either the heating or the fridge destroys them. An old fashioned walk in larder open to fresh air does not exist in modern buildings.

Does one eat the rind? When it is a soft cheese of course.

How does one cut a cheese? An art not taught to foreigners.

The French appear to mostly eat cheese at the end of a meal with bread and not dry biscuits. Personally I never have enough appetite for bread then so do not conform.

I have also never found the equivalent of good cheddar to make a welsh rabbit with. Trying to explain that in French though is complicated.

Oh well there are elections today to decide who will lead the Forlorn Hope, or the French Socialist party into battle against the rest in the upcoming Presidential elections.

The True Truth? The Trump Truth? or The Le Pen Truth?

Oh dear oh dear, what can the matter be. France, Penelope Fillon, and the turmoil of political reality.

Oh dear oh dear, what can the matter be.

The British have their Brexit, the Americans their Trump but all was well with France; at least for a certain conservative catholic right.

The left were turning into a three headed whatever. Macron towards the Centre doing his own thing. Melanchon rallying the forces of the extreme left; Trotskyists, Communists, and all sorts of leftovers who hadn’t switched to Le Pen and the extreme right.

The LR or Republican party had just gone through their Primary (the first ever) and had eliminated Sarkozy (the come-back kid), Juppé (yesterday’s man) and had chosen Mr Clean (Fillon) former Prime Minister, quiet spoken, reserved, well dressed, liberal (French definition) ideas on the economy, Catholic ideas on the family and prepared to bring Putin in from the cold. A stay at home mum bringing up the 5 kids in the family château. Bought I believe not inherited.

And then the bomb dropped. Well we are living in the internet age, everyone Twitters and the Truth will eventually come out. Whether it is the True Truth or Trump Truth is not really important.

Meanwhile yesterday I went to the library, which is now very modern with book section, news room, reading and research room, internet room and DVD and CD room. And now membership is free. It used to be paying but they discovered it cost more money to collect subscriptions and fines than what came in.

It’s half an hours walk away so there and back takes care of my daily exercise. I thought I’d drop in to my haidressers to book an appointment. The young girl who cuts my hair said she could do it immediately. Well there’s not much left and it only takes 10 minutes so, short back and sides, I said OK. Her family is from Madagascar. In fact her mother used to cut my hair for many years which shows how old I am getting. I’ve been using the same place for 35 years now. No problem with immigration with her. And then back home. Not to my château. Most people in France don’t own a château. Stay at home mums don’t usually earn more than 2 or 3 times the average wage. Politicians seem out of touch with the people. Well many have never actually worked in a proper job. Straight from university into the party political machine.

Oh well another day in France.

When French politicians speak English

Penelope Fillon: What exactly does she do?

BREXIT: The word all British expats in France will come to hate.

BREXIT : Now that is a subject I will really have to deal with. 

I was more or less kicked out of South Vietnam forty odd years ago.

Will I be kicked out of France and arrive in a strange country called what?

The United Kingdom of Great Britain & Northern Ireland. That was the place I left. Well by the time I arrive perhaps it will be reduced to the Disunited Kingdom of England.

It’s over 55 years since I left the UK. I have rather a feeling we won’t even be able to communicate. My English dates from the 1940’s in the days when one did learn to pronounce one’s vowels and use a very precise and clipped English.

Anyway I’m allergic to most of the things the English take for granted, things I dare not even mention here. Free speech is one of the casualties of whatever madness has taken over the UK. Even if I’m not arrested for saying what I think the bin police will get me for doing something wrong.

I could of course opt to stay in France. I went down to the Town Hall the other day to try and clarify my status. Very charming lady remembered me from twenty years ago but said I had to go to the Prefecture. So off to the Prefecture where an equally pleasant young lady said I had to go to a certain annex.

I then remembered that I had been there 35 or 40 years before when I needed a residence permit. 

The small room with a dozen foreigners had been changed for a very large room full of dozens, no scores of foreigners from everywhere in the Middle East and Africa; not a European there. Of course not, why should there be, they’re all members of the European Union now.
So I was told to take a ticket and wait my turn to then make an appointment with someone to begin whatever formalities one had to go through.

Well all I wanted was to ask a few questions. I mean after 40 years one doesn’t want to be treated as though one had just arrived from God knows where and needed to regularize one’s situation. 35 to 40 years ago it was not easy. It would appear the situation has been going downhill since.

So do I make up a packet of sandwiches and camp out in the Prefecture for the day just to ask a question?

Perhaps I can find it on line but that’s difficult enough even when you know there is an answer but finding answers to hypothetical questions is not the internet’s strong point certainly not when it is a French Government Administration involved